It's another year. I've had to allow myself a couple of days to settle into it. The holiday vacation was quiet and like a princess in a fairy tale, I slept. I didn't realize just how tired I was until I didn't have to wake up early to get everyone in the house moving. It was terribly indulgent but I must say I came to the New Year feeling relaxed and ready for what comes my way. This is a far cry from the past.
The approach of the New Year filled me with dread as I agonized over the mistakes of the past year. I'd remember all the expectations I set up for myself and how I failed miserably. And yes, it was failure for I was still the same imperfect being. I'd then fill a sheet of paper with a list of impossible resolutions. This would be the year I attacked this wishy-washy behavior and rooted out imperfection. It would be war. Battle would commence on New Year's Day. New Year's eve night would find me unable to sleep feeling jittery about the enemy. My plan rested on my ability to hit the ground running on January 1st. One slip-up and that was it; I'd slip back into the pit of imperfection. Geez, no pressure there!
Now I'm older and wiser. I've lost the resolutions and the anxiety but I am still excited by the prospect of the New Year. It's the idea of that clean slate that gets me all the time. Sure you can have that at any time. You can tell yourself that on Monday, you'll wake up earlier and exercise or that on the first of the month you'll start saving money but this doesn't have the same thrill as the start of New Year. It's like telling people you ran 26.2 miles the other day. They'll probably be impressed but it won't have the same affect as saying, I finished the New York City Marathon. It's all in the presentation.
This year finds me relaxed, focused on the goals that I've chosen for this new year. The list is manageable and achievement rests on my ability to plod along, taking one day at a time but making certain I take those first steps. Failure no longer rests in the one slip-up which would absolve me of all further activity, beginning the terrible process again at year's end. Now I pick myself up, dust off, and continue on greeting next year with the same relaxed awe.
So how did you approach the arrival of 2008?
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1 comment:
I too always used the flash in the pan approach, but that isn't good for long range goals. I'm not a plodder or a planner, but I have had to do both in order to have the writing career and the life I've always wanted. To make things happen instead of just wishing for them.
Now that my writing career is going along the way I want it to, I have to attack the personal me without letting loose the career me.
You have to learn to juggle. And juggle. And juggle.
LOL
Teri
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