Saturday, January 17, 2009

Brain Freeze

I've been trying to stay focused these last couple of days but... but... it's so coooooold. I'm pretty sure my brain froze two days ago. It's hard to write when the wind chill dips to an uncomprehensible number (below zero might as well be infinity to me).

Then this morning when I woke before 5am and my nose was as cold as my dog's, it hit me. The idea of the century- HIBERNATION. This could be the answer to the whole global climate crisis. It was all a little hazy as I drifted in and out of consciousness as the eternal battle between discipline and comfort waged but the concept is simple enough.

A dedicated portion of the populace willing to sacrifice for the common good spends the blustery winter sleeping peacefully under flannel sheets and down comforters thus cutting down on fuel oil, exhaust emissions, electricity usage and all the other harmful aspects of our modern life. Once spring arrives, this heroes will be well rested and ready to be productive citizens once again.

They may suffer from extreme body odor, bed sores, morning breath reminscent of a rotting corpse, and an insatiable desire to raid their neighbor's garbage. I may have come up with a solution for these side-effects but then I drifted back to sleep again deciding to take the research slow and enjoy a mini-hibe (better known as sleeping in). Stay tuned for further updates and keep the noise down, some of us are sleeping.

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